Always Connected!

"I will start out by telling you a little about myself. My name is Kary Vaughn. I am 27 and one of three siblings. I have a brother that is the youngest, and a sister that is the oldest, and then I am a twin. And we were all adopted. I am married to my prince charming. I have two of the sweetest little girls on the planet. And I also have a stepson and a stepdaughter. They are only with us every other weekend.

My twin sister and me did everything together from the time that we were born. We were always getting into stuff even in our adult years. At the age of eighteen we both got pregnant at the same time. We were due on the same day. But it turned out that I had to be induced and I went before her due to complications in my pregnancy. And then she delivered her first-born two weeks after I had my first-born. Also at the age of 19 we got pregnant a second time at the same time. Yeah, I know what you are thinking, WOW!!! But it is true. This time we were not due on the same day. But turned out my twin sister went into labor before me. But much to my surprise they induced me on the exact same day she went into labor. So we had our second two babies on the same day but two hours apart. So when I said we did everything together, I pretty much mean most things. She was very dependent on me though. I was what they called the stronger more independent twin out of us. She called me a lot for things that would happen and she needed advice, or if she were in trouble for something she would run to me, or if she needed a sitter it was always me she was calling. However, in most people eyes they felt was her taking advantage of me, but I knew that she needed a boost with everything in life. And to me I think that is the reason for God making twins so a person that is not as strong to go on with life on their own they would always have their twin to hold their hand at all times. Me and her relationship, our world no one understood but us. It is funny cause our mother will tell stories of us just laughing and having this bond that was so strong and connected with each other, that she could not even master it. So when I say that being a twin is such a BLESSING it is the most wonderful, secure thing that I have ever had in my life.

 Well I I guess I will start by saying that my life experiences have shown me that I can do all things with Christ who strengthens me. I live by that daily. I have had some triumphs and some hardships. I was a single mother for 5 years. Doing it all on my own. My baby's fathers came and went when they wanted to. One was really possessive over me. I was walking in fear pretty much everyday with him. And did not know how to escape it. I will say that I overcame it though. My hardships I have not overcome yet, I still deal with on a daily basis. and one of those major hardships was losing the one thing that I thought I would have forever. I thought that this one think was promised to me everyday of my life the rest of my life. Turns out that life threw a curveball and I got blindsided.

It was in 2007 in the month of June. And me and my girls were invited to move in with my older sister to be her nanny for her children while the summer went on and while she worked My older sister is a ARMY wife. So her husband is not home as much as they would like. Or I should say at this time in 2007. So we took her up on the offer cause I had to get out of the relationships that I was in cause they were literally making me so sick. I mean the boyfriends, the stuff I got into, having to always be there for my twin sitter, the relationships with the fathers of my two girls, and I could go on and on. It was making me not healthy. I was literally wasting away. And I knew that I had to be there for my girls because I was all they had besides the support of my family, but still a mother cannot be replaced by anyone. So we were moving in June on the 6th in with my sister and her family all the way in Hawaii. Yes, Hawaii is what I said. It was a move of a lifetime for me and my girls. And I was going to get back to my normal self, being a good mother and getting my body back to being healthy. Now granted me and my twin had never been apart since the day we were born, even when she got married we still saw each other everyday almost. So the shock of us moving was real hurtful for my twin sister. I think that that was her wake up call that she had to stand on her own, by herself. And I will say I get that, but I had had to do what was best for not just me but my girls also. They were seeing their mommy die basically cause she could not take care of herself. I was stressed all the time daily and that got to my body and I was sinking into depression and losing all of me. My twin sister finally accepted the fact that I was going to get better and not going to just leave her behind and that I would be back. But I had to make this decision and it was the toughest one I have ever had to make. So we went June 6th we flew out of Tulsa, OK.

And to be real honest it was not an exciting feeling you know when you get into PARADISE you are all smiles. Not me I was ready get back on the plane and go home as soon as I got there. No SMILES from me at this point. WAs not really sure of my decision at this point I was regretting leaving everything I knew and my girls knew behind back in Missouri. But as that day went on, I was getting into the mood of changing what was to what needs to be in my life. Now HAWAII seems like this paradise and do not get me wrong it was gorgeous in some areas, but it is ever a place I would want to reside. I lived there for four months. Then my sister's kids were going back to school and I was packing my bags to go back home. But I was going back home with the security of being the mom that I needed to be, and being healthier. I could hold my head up high and say that I was once in a hard spot but I got out of it. Now the whole time I was in Hawaii there was never a day that passed that my twin did not call me. But she was making such progress with me not being there as a crutch for her if you know what I mean. She got herself a job that she loved, and she embraced her children, and that was something that she had not done for a very long time. So we both got to experience being mothers in this whole experience. You know when you are young and have kids you forget that you have to grow up so fast, lie you don't want to. You want to still have your friends, and boyfriends, and hangout spots. And that is what me and her got lost in. But we were back on track now. But it was time for me to go home. I was ready and so were the girls to go home. I was scared to have to face what I left behind but it was time. I was well and I was strong again  and the best mommy that I could be.

Me and the girls were so excited to get off the last plane that took us to Tulsa Airport. We ran out of that terminal and to baggage claim to see my mother and my twin sister standing there to welcome us back home. So much light was shined on that moment. Just thinking about it right now brings tears to my eyes. Well we were home, Home Sweet Home...  It all happened so fast though after this.

Turned out that we ended up having a horrible wreck on our way back to Webb City, MO. Our tire on my mother's car blew out. We went off an enbakment and out car turned 10 plus times. Now I do not remember much of this wreck to give any details. I had a broken ankle.  I saw my oldest daughter at the age of 5 with blood from head to toe and she was crying and so confused. And she was scared. But at the scene I did not see my mom, my youngest daughter, or my twin sister. It was all in like a blink of an eye. Like a dream - a bad one! It went from smiles and happy tears to stretchers and paramedics. The paramedics separated all of us, they took my girls to the Children's hospital, and my mom was transported to St. Johns, and then my twin and me were taken to Integris about a half hour away from the scene of the accident. The reason for the separation was due to the ambulances and helicopters at the scene and where they came from when they responded. But I will admit waking up in and out of consciousness without my little ones was the scariest thing ever!

My girls were okay for the most part. A man that was on the last plane with us that happened to miss his exit to his destination found my youngest. And the paramedics only thought I had one child cause she was so far from the scene. My youngest was ejected out of the car 60 ft. away from the car and still attached to her car seat, up side down face down suffocated, not breathing. The man told me that he was so scared that he did not know what to do and all he could do was pray and ask the Lord to guide him in this. He said that something told him to not take her out of the car seat and just embrace her while she was in there and pray that she is still conscious not knowing cause she was turning blue. And he said he did exactly that and finally he heard a little cough and a cry. The man told me that that was the sweetest cry that he had ever and will ever hear in his lifetime. He saved her life. The others were just going to leave the scene cause they thought that I had only the 5 years old. My youngest was 3 at this time. I thank God everyday for that man. He is her guardian angel.  As for my mother she was doing well, but pretty bruised up and confused to what had happened.

And let me tell you the hardest thing to hear that day from my brother, when he come to the hospital to pick me up to take me where the girls were being treated. And that was everyone except my twin sister survived this car accident. And just typing that right then left such a emptiness in my gut. Having to hear that was so confusing, and not right. I cried and held on to my younger brother squeezing him to death as I sobbed. I just got back into the swing of things in my life and so did she and we finally have to see each other for the first time after four months, and it was not even for a hour and she is gone forever now. i have to go on with my life without my twin sister after having her there with me for 23 years. I am still mad, confused, sad, lonely, and it has been almost four years since she has been gone. But the best thing to know is that she is watching from Heaven. But still on some days that is not even enough for me. She was my other half, she knew when I was having a bad day, when I needed to cry, what I was thinking, and now I do not have that anymore. Talk about scary.... but I have pulled through the little parts  part of this whole thing and to know that I can look at her kids everyday and they can look at me and see their mommy everyday. He little girl after she found out that her mommy was not coming back and that she was now in Heaven with Jesus, she said to me a week after that she is glad that that I did not die as well because now she can sit on my lap while her mommy is away.

And the reason I made that comment on a friend's Facebook page, the one that Michelle saw and wanted to know more. Is because people think that life is a bunch of fun and game and they get mad when they do not have what they want right then. But to be honest life is what you make it. Life can be horrible and sad for me after losing my twin sister and almost my daughter, but why let life throw another curveball and rob me from what Blessing I still have. i will always miss my twin sister, everyday of my life, but she would want me to move on and make something of my life. Tomorrow is never promised from God, only today is. So i hope people read my story and start counting their Blessings, cause I know I do everyday even thought the one person who got me, and was always there day in and day out, and knew me inside and out, was gone, I still have my girls and my family that can help me get through this hurt. Life is what you make it, so do your best to not take it for granted and make it the best life that you lived. Cause it can be taken from you in a blink of an eye.

And that is my story, I hope you enjoyed getting to know me and my hurt. And know that this tragedy has been a hard thing to get through but I am doing it. There are days I want to sit and cry, but I know that god is going to pull me out of my darkness, and in a way he has little by little. Yea, God has not come on my time, but he will come on his. And I could not ask for more. My sister is dancing in Heaven as we speak, and that is nothing to be sad over... "