True Conversations! Encourage you to really learn more about bullying facts and help stop this in our schools and in your personal lives. American schools harbor
approximately 4.0 million bullies and 4.7 million of their victims (National School Safety Center). Please read this story of a parent who has a son that is a bully and how she realized she was also a bully.
"I'm a parent that encourage my children to protect themselves from bullies, but I had no idea my son bullied other students. He did not start off this way, but in order to fit in with his peers he believed it was ok to pick on students with disabilities or not sure of themselves. He said he did not want to be the child people joked on so he became the child that joked on others. I was so disappointed, but my husband thought it was normal and told our son he was the same way. I was against it and hoped my son reaped what he sow. It did happened one day just like this young man in this video (video is at the end of story). My son came home in worse shape, he ended up with a broken arm and two black eyes. My husband was so upset and wanted to sue the family. Although it was my son, I felt he needed just what he received and refused to allow my husband to press charges.
Today, my son still seek other children to bully and have not learn his lesson, but afraid to mess with the child that beat him up. I was so happy the child in the video stood up for himself, maybe because I was also the kid many felt it was ok to bully. I never stood up for myself, but walked away. Hoping it would eventually stop. It did slow down when I got in high school because the guys started liking other body parts I had instead of my face, but the girls continue to pick on me.
I am in my early 40s and I still deal with self-esteem issues. I realized I'm also a bully after talking to my therapist, because I find myself talking negative to others about themselves in front of people so I can look better than others. As a supervisor I bully my staff to do what I feel needs to be done and pick on them in business meetings. Especially if I think they are doing a terrible job in order to use them as examples. I embarrass my children by threaten them in front of others of how I'm going to beat their a** if they don't act accordingly in order to control themselves. I force my friends to do what I want them to do and if they don't I may withdraw or get the friends we share to choose me over them. I use to call it protecting myself, but at the end I want to be liked because of my own insecurities. I'm just as bad as a bully if I'm really honest with myself, because we both have the same goals.
I don't think no one goes around saying they are a bully, but I know many that are and I never thought I was one. After talking about it with my therapist I figured out I don't understand my true worth so I want to be seen as the better person. Bullies are the people with the insecurities, so we seek victims in order to help ourselves feel better. I know it's crazy, but for some reason we believe this is what we need. I'm writing this story because I was asked to by my therapist. It is very therapeutic, I really learn something in the past two session (lol). Now I'm in the process of changing what I believe to help my behavior become more natural or me, like my therapist indicated in our meeting. I have a LONG way to go, but with God's help and listening to my therapist I will stop.
If you find yourself putting others down because you want them to do something or look bad please know you are just like me a bully. If you try to control your friends or use any types of tactics weather it is passive or aggressive to look better or cause harm - you are a BULLY. We have to stop this madness!
Children that are bullies usually have parents that are bullies and I'm example of this. I've been working on my son to stop, by getting him professional help plus attending church. I have not seen any progress as of yet because it's only been 2 weeks. I'm not giving up, because this has to stop. My eyes has been opened. Hopefully my story and this video I asked True Conversations! to share help you understand why this has to stop." Thanks, Lauran
As a mother of a child who was bullied, I thank you for writing your story. I'm happy to son the child moved that use to hurt my son with his words, but if it continued on I'm not sure in how I would have handled it. It was good to hear why most bullies are the way they are and to be honesty I can see ways I have bullied people in my life without knowing it. I guess I'm saying you put the spotlight on me and help me understand the why. Thanks for this note. Maryann
ReplyDeleteI think we all are Bullies if you ask me!
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